Go Rin no Sho
by Tusk Act IV
Summary: "Your war is now my war." In order to save Fuutarou from a lifetime of sexual slavery, the quints all decide to marry him! Will they be able to pull off the marriage? Will Fuutarou keep his chastity safe? Did the author really run out of ideas to resort to this?
1. The Beginning of the End

**Disclaimer: I own neither the series nor the characters. Very inspired by Prince of Polpol by Innortal.**

* * *

It was just another day at the Nakano residence.

It was the weekend and all of them had decided to stay in and watch the latest episode of a new drama, We Never Learn. The show was about a poor student who soon found himself to be an unsuspecting tutor of a bunch of cute girls.

Ichika knew one of the actresses who played the heroine. Nino enjoyed the romance and wondered exactly how these girls got their tutor so flustered. Miku could relate to the one girl who kept self-sabotaging her own chances. Yotsuba enjoyed the complex web of relationships the protagonist weaved, unaware of how this same web would suffocate him when he'd have to choose between different girls already cross-examining the episode with the political themes of Atlus Shrugged. She also enjoyed watching moving pictures and flashing colors.

Itsuki was eating.

It was then that there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it!" volunteered Yotsuba, not that the others had made a motion to move. On the screen, the tutor was about to confess to the unquestionably best girl of the show, a girl that Yotsuba had thought was a boy for the first half of the show with how flat her chest was.

Nino then wondered if it was perhaps her breasts that were getting in the way of her own romance.

All sisters, sans Yotsuba, leaned close to the television as the tutor embraced the washboard-chan. All of them wondered what it would feel like for their own tutor to do the same to them. They could almost see it, a certain dark-haired lad yelling for them to jump into his arms.

"Yotsuba, I need you!"

Yeah, like that! Wait.

"Uwah!" Yotsuba cried out as the moment she opened the door to hands were then pressed down on her shoulders, their grips like iron. In front of her, Uesugi Fuutarou gave her a stare that spoke of desperation and pure instinctual want.

Her Yotsubrain shorted out with how close his face was, only able to get a stock phrase out. "Woah! Uesugi-san?!"

Even though she could lift possibly triple him, she could do nothing as Fuutarou forced himself into the apartment, his hands still on her shoulders. He shut the door with a quick back kick, his gaze never leaving the ribbon wearing quint.

"From now on, I need you to stay by my side!"

"Eh?!"

"You need to stay close to me from now on."

"Ueehhh!?

"Yotsuba, I-Gah!"

Before the author could turn the fic into another Yotsuba fic, a bowl of fried chicken flew and hit the tutor at the head, separating him from the flustered quint.

"What was that for?!" yelled, not Fuutarou, but Itsuki as tears started to form in her eyes from the spilled food. She rushed over, ignoring the downed tutor, to try to salvage what was left of her snack.

"I'd like to ask you the same thing." mumbled Fuutarou as he rubbed his head. He got up with a little difficulty and by then the rest of the sisters had already made their way over to him.

"Just what were you saying to Yotsuba?" demanded Nino, arms crossed with a huff. Whether she threw the bowl or not was something she'd never answer, not even if Itsuki brought her to court for it. The food court was one of Itsuki's favorite places, after all.

"I need her."

"W-wha-"

"I need her idiotic strength to protect me!" Fuutarou announced with a raised fist of determination, destroying Yotsuba flags better than even Negi regularly does. "She's the only person that could keep that woman away from me!"

"Wait, Fuutarou. What are you talking about?" asked Miku while Ichika patted the head of the now deflated Yotsuba with a sympathetic smile.

"I-" Fuutarou froze when there was a sudden knocking from the door. "Tch, she's here! I'm leaving her to you five! Tell her I'm not here! I'll go hide in the bathroom!"

Before the girls could get any words in, their tutor had already shoved himself into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. With how frazzled he was, it was clear that he had no plans of getting out too.

The sisters exchanged confused looks. Even from the worst parts of their tutorship, they had never seen Fuutarou so desperate, haggard, and out of breath. Well, Miku had but that was only during particular nights where she'd wake up from certain dreams with her body slick with sweat.

There was another knock on the door, two this time.

They all turned to the door then to each other, their expressions turning serious. Without one word escaping from their mouths, the sisters got into position.

As she was known to, Ichika did things behind her back, a phone open behind her with the police's number ready to be called. Yotsuba and Miku positioned themselves in front of the bathroom, blocking an immediate path to Fuutarou.

Even though Miku was normally the doormat, Nino placed herself in front of the door, her expression harsh, with a glaring Itsuki holding a bowl of chicken behind her as support.

Whoever this woman was, she already made a huge mistake if she thought she could get between Nino and her Fuu or Itsuki and her food. The only difference being one wanted more D.

Two girls, one thirsty and one hungry, opened the door, ready to stray away any harlot bothering their tutor that wasn't a quintuplet.

"What do you want?" Nino put on her scariest bitch face yet. She hadn't had done it in a while, preferring to practice her rape face for Fuuture uses but the effect was still as strong as ever.

The woman in front of her barely reacted. In fact, her only reaction were sharp eyes slightly widening behind her glasses.

However, the one who was most surprised was Itsuki, her mouth hanging open and the piece of chicken she had bitten falling out. She knew this person. Even if she wasn't that smart, she definitely knew this person!

How could she forget anyone who had offered her such good cake? She'd never forget such deliciousness!

"Cake! I mean, Shimoda-san?"

The suited woman blinked, her face blank as her eyes went back and forth between the two girls in front of her. A manicured hand scratched the top of combed hair as she sighed.

"It looks like things got a bit complicated."

* * *

"Gahahaha! Quintuplets?! Only sensei could pull of something like that!" Shimoda laughed, banging a fist on the table. "Only someone like her would survive giving birth to that!"

Currently, everyone had entered the apartment and had sat themselves across the table. Shimoda on one side and all the quints on the other. There was still noticeable unease on their faces as they watched the woman with caution. It was only with Itsuki's word that they had given her the benefit of the doubt.

Of course, Fuutarou was still in the bathroom. Miku had whispered that they'd knock on the door thrice when the coast was clear although whether he heard it or not was up to question.

"So Shimoda-san, right?" Ichika decided to be the diplomatic one to ask what was on everyone else's minds. "We understand you know our mother but why is it you're after our tutor?"

"That's what I'm wondering as well," admitted Shimoda, the small curl of her lips revealing oddly sharp teeth. "To think that boy was teaching sensei's daughters. Was it chance perhaps or…?"

The way she trailed off didn't settle any of them one bit. Miku raised a hand shoulder level. "So, is it our fault, then? Was he dragged into something because of mom?"

"No, no." Shimoda waved her hand while shaking her head. "In fact, I only learned he existed yesterday which was why I needed to talk to him."

"And yet, he's running away from you," pointed out Nino to which Shimoda shrugged. "If you're some kind of shady person, we won't hesitate to call the police."

"C'mon, there's no need for that. On if I should tell you…" Shimoda rubbed her chin for a moment in contemplation before speaking once more. She dragged her gaze across each sister, her eyes narrowing in introspection. "Alright. Since you're all sensei's children, I guess I can tell you all. Besides, by the look in your eyes, I think you all would benefit from this."

"What do you mean?"

The suit wearing woman ignored Yotsuba as she began her explanation. "Now, since you're all willing to protect the boy, I'm sure you all know his current financial circumstances."

Five nods.

"Good. Now do you know why his family is so poor?"

No one seemed to know going by the five confused looks she got.

"You see, his father has racked up a huge debt." Shimoda held a hand up. "No, I'm not a debt collector but I am from the people his father owes a debt to, the Kuneida clan. They're very old money."

She handed Itsuki a pamphlet she had shown Fuutarou earlier before he ran away. Immediately, the other four crowded around the glutton.

"They own all those channels!? Ai-chan's manager must work there then."

"I've seen these clothes modeled in a runway in Paris?"

"They manage all those theme parks and museums!?"

"Ah! I've seen that team in the Olympics. They were the ones who sponsored them?!"

"I love that chain of restaurants…"

"So now you all know the kind of enemy the Uesugi's have made." Shimoda's words turned the atmosphere from wonder to unease. Even for the Nakanos who had briefly tasted wealth, this sort of thing was far beyond their scope.

"So, if you're claiming not to be a debt collector, what exactly do you people want with our tutor?" Itsuki asked, looking up from the pamphlet and the bag of chips in her hands. "If you're all this rich then what do you gain from getting money from Uesugi-kun who barely has any?"

Her words had Shimoda's expression stiffen. The woman leaned forward, resting her chin on a bridge made with her hands.

"You see, this all began when Uesugi Fuutarou's father, Uesugi Kintarou, decided to steal something from the then heir of the clan, the single daughter of the Kuneida clan head."

"And that would be."

"Her heart." If this was earlier in the millennium, the five would have simultaneously face faulted but they all settled for various looks of shocks.

"Apparently, the madame had married the man after falling for him. Of course, her family were against it but eventually they all settled on an agreement." From her bag, Shimoda pulled out a thick red binder. "This here is the contract Uesugi Kintarou had signed with the Kuneida's when he married the madame.

The binder hit the center of the table with a thud.

"It defines the responsibilities of the man to the madame and the family. These responsibilities carry on even after the madame's unfortunate early death."

"And what responsibilities are those?" asked Miku as they let Ichika handle reading the contract. The actress was the only one to have any experience with such things, after all.

"Basically, what the Kuneida's wanted in the end was a new heir. As long as he couldn't offer one with Kuneida blood in it, the man would have to continuously pay a sort of dowry. However, that also meant that the Kuneida's couldn't intentionally interfere with the Uesugi family in any way."

Shimoda crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing.

"It was unusual that someone as important as the clan heir to give up her name so it was agreed upon that if one of their children was a male, he will be brought into the Kuneida clan. It was only recently that we found out thanks to him placing third on the national mock exam. While Kintarou had reported that he had two children, he did not report that one of them was male."

"And? What's so special about that?"

"For over multiple generations, the Kuneida's have been recorded to rarely have male children to the point of utter myth. For some reason, a female is born 99.99% of the time." revealed Shimoda, her face and tone showing utter seriousness. "Even now, people still question whether the few Kuneida males that had been born are real or not"

"So Uesugi-san…"

"That's right. An impossibility A miracle so to speak." Shimoda nodded. "In fact, it was the madame herself who had set upon the rules herself. While they'd never be rich due to having to continuously pay a dowry, she would have her freedom and could make her own choices. Pretty admirable, wouldn't you agree?"

"…yes. I think I do." Itsuki nodded, glancing around their current shoddy apartment. It was a far cry from where they used to live but she was sure she felt happier.

"Wait! This makes no sense!" Nino stood up, her palms slapping the table. "If what you're saying is true, why is he running away from you?"

"That's right," agreed Ichika, realizing Nino's point. "You're offering to stop his family's debt plus maybe bring him into a much richer lifestyle. There's no way that guy would say no."

"Yeah! Uesugi-san wouldn't turn down such a great proposal!"

"That's right, Shimoda-san." Miku turned to the glasses-wearing woman. "There's no way our tutor would ever run away from becoming your clan head."

Itsuki just nodded along with her sisters, her mouth full of food and her heart full of agreement.

Shimoda's face was blank for a moment before her grin turned predatory, startling all the sisters. "You really think that they'd want him as the clan head? What is this a cheap drama? Of course not! The clan head of the Kuneida family will always be women."

"Then..."

"What the Kuneida clan want is not Uesugi Fuutarou but rather his genes! According to the contract, his father is off limits but a son is very much on the table. Those old crones want him to create more Kuneida males."

"B-but why?"

"Simple." Shimoda adjusted her glasses, the light reflecting off the lenses concealing her eyes. "If they have more males, that means it will be easier to keep the business within the family. Instead of bringing people from outside to marry, they could keep the blood line purer. His mother having some of the purest Kuneida blood helps out too."

"Can't Uesugi-san just say no?"

Shimoda shook her head as she jabbed a thumb in the direction of the binder. "It's in the contract that he has to provide more heirs, whether male or female. If not, the Kuneida's could actually take this to court and sue them for the little they have. They may even force away custody from the father and separate the siblings."

Yotsuba looked horrified. "Raiha-chan…"

"Shimoda-san, isn't there something you can do?" Itsuki asked, not liking how helpless she felt and how empty her tub of ice cream became.

"I'm sorry but it was your friend's parents that signed away his life, unknowing he'd be born a man." Shimoda actually looked sympathetic, seeing all the sisters' grief-stricken faces. "Already, the elders are drawing up arranged marriages as we speak."

"W-what," muttered Miku as she fell on her knees. To think her love would end like this (if it even started at all).

"So you're forcing him to get married!?" half asked half yelled Nino, her face scrunched up in clear anger. "To a woman he doesn't even know!"

"Hey now! It's not that bad." The woman then brought out from her bag a purple bottle. Even just looking at the design on the bottle told of how expensive it is. "This is the family drink of the Kuneida's specially made by the clan to be shared between marriages. All they need to do is to share a drink in the presence of a representative of the clan, such as myself and they're practically married."

"Is that even legal?" Ichika shook her head. "That's nothing like what a wedding ceremony is supposed to be."

"For Uesugi Fuutarou it is." Shimoda placed the bottle down on the table. "The Kuneida's pulled a lot of strings for this. Just so they can marry him off to as many of their single daughters as possible."

"But why?" asked Miku, desperation tinging in her voice. "I don't…understand."

"It's all to keep the blood pure." Shimoda shook her head. "The rest of ones who ranked in the top five of the mock exams? They were all affiliated with the Kuneida's. All, I'm sure, the heads would want Uesugi Fuutarou to put a baby in. The Kuneida line has been shown to have traits that gave high intelligence"

"No way..." Miku once again fell on her knees.

"They are also all incredibly beautiful raven-haired beauties with large shapely breasts."

"I can't believe this…" Ichika joined her sister.

"They're also clueless virgin girls who have rarely interacted with men outside their relatives never knew the meaning of love before!"

"How can this be…!" Nino followed suit.

"And he could marry up to five wives! All he needs to do is eat, sleep, and have sex for the purpose of recreation! Divorce is also only granted with the agreement of the husband and all the wives followed by the removal of the man's penis. He has no escape!"

"This can't be the end…" Itsuki, the most headstrong of them all, fell on her knees realizing she had eaten all of her snacks. Also, something about Fuutarou?

"Now that you know the truth, I hope all of you can cooperate." Shimoda spread her arms, as if inviting any of them to resist her. Seeing none, she stood up, her face satisfied as she looked down on the sisters.

"Well, I told you my reasons now it's your turn. Where is the boy?"

"He's right here!" Shimoda turned to see the last quintuplet holding Uesugi Fuutarou in place with one arm. The boy looked terrified.

"Y-Yotsuba! What are you doing!" The boy yelled at the girl, struggling in futility. "Didn't you hear her?! If she grabs a hold of me, I'll have to leave all of you and be turned into some sort of breeding stud!"

"But Uesugi-san, what about Raiha-chan! If you don't do what she says, they'll take her away!"

"I know!" Fuutarou actually looked hurt at just the thought. He seemed to be struggling not just with Yotsuba's hold but also with something within him. After a moment, it did seem like he reached a resolution.

"Even so…I…I still want to teach you guys."

His response got a warm smile from Yotsuba. Not the brightest smile he'd ever seen but one so warm that it had somehow transferred the heat to his own cheeks.

"Yes…that's the Uesugi-san, we know.

With those words, Yotsuba then lifted the arm not holding Fuutarou to reveal-

"Wait! When did you get that?!"

Like a campfire turning into the sun itself, Yotsuba's smile expanded wider as she lifted the purple bottle, she had snatched from Shimoda earlier. With surprising dexterity, Yotsuba removed the cork with her teeth, spit it out, then took a poured enough of the liquid to puff up her cheeks.

She then turned to Fuutarou and smashed her lips into his before he could response.

For a moment, Silence entered the apartment, not bothering to take off its shoes or to even knock on the door. Then just as soon as it arrived, Silence jumped out of the window as Sound reappeared.

It was almost mute, normally impossible to notice. But with how everyone else was possibly not even breathing, the faint sounds of Fuutarou gulping down something practically echoed through the place. Yotsuba's cheeks depressed as Fuutarou's Adam's apple bobbed lest he choke on the liquid she was pushing down his throat.

Finally, when they separated, Fuutarou fell on his back, not realizing his legs had stopped working when Yotsuba let him go. Yotsuba herself looked like she could barely stand, her mouth stained with liquid that had overflowed out of their liplock.

She raised the bottle with a shaky hand and locked eyes with the frozen Shimoda

"D-does that count?"

"What?"

"Are we officially married?"

The suit wearing woman opened her mouth then closed it then opened it once more then closed it once more. Again and again until, finally, she conceded with grit teeth.

"…by all accounts, under my power as a representative of the Kuneida clan. I pronounce the both of you…engaged to be wed."

Hearing her words, Yotsuba nodded before closing her eyes, a serene smile on her face.

"I leave it up to…" Whatever she was about to say remained unsaid, as her eyes rolled into the back of her head, her Yotsubrain unable to take the high percentage of alcohol along with the idea of kissing Fuutarou.

She fell backwards, unconscious, letting go of the bottle as she did so. The purple container should have been smashed on the floor thanks to gravity. Should have if it wasn't for two quick manicured hands.

Fuutarou had barely pieced back what was left of his brain when he suddenly felt a heavy weight on his stomach. He looked up to see Nino holding a purple bottle, a very dangerous smile on her face.

He'd been drugged by her twice but this was the first time he's felt actual fear.

"Nino? What-?"

"I'm really mad that Yotsuba got to you first so I'm not in the mood for struggling." A hand pushed down on Fuutaoru's chest with an impossible amount of strength.

"Bottoms up, Fuu-kun."

The girl then tipped the bottle to her lips before crashing them down on Fuutarou's own, harder than a train at full speed hitting a crossing school bus in the middle of the tracks.

As Fuutarou tried and failed to get out of Nino's grasp, Shimoda decided to sit back down in defeat. Meanwhile, the rest of the sisters were still on the floor, watching Fuutarou's limbs struggle before, slowly, their movements stopped and they went limp on the floor.

No one said anything until-

"Me next!"

Miku squawked as she sent a betrayed glare at Ichika who simply returned it with a shrug.

* * *

"Well then, I'd like to congratulate all five of you in your decision to marry Uesugi Fuutarou." Sighed a very tired and defeated Shimoda. "I'll be sure to ask you all about the wedding preparations."

"Ahahaha…yeah." Itsuki laughed awkwardly, waving the bread in her hand. Even she had joined in the heat of the moment. "Sorry about that, Shimoda-san but Uesugi-kun is important to us."

"It's my fault. When you've all decided on what you're going to do about the wedding ceremony, come and talk to me. Even though you've married him, he's still technically now part of the Kuneida family."

"Right."

"Also, Itsuki-san." Shimoda leaned forward, her eyes hollow. "Don't think the Kuneida's will take this without a fight."

Her warning gave Itsuki chills like eating a large parfait but Shimoda's expression soon morphed into a smile.

"Also, congratulations. I'm sure sensei would be happy to see her children married…though I have to wonder if it's to the same guy…"

It was with those last words that the woman finally left their apartment.

Closing the door and grabbing another bread she left nearby, Itsuki entered their apartment once more.

Her…husband(?) was currently unconscious, mostly from all the alcohol they all forcibly shoved down his throat. Next to him Yotsuba was knocked out as well.

Her other sisters seemed to have been able to hold their alcohol better. Ichika was on her phone although she was giggling way too much. Nino had extracted a wedding catalogue from…somewhere. Miku was moping in the corner for being the last person to get married to him.

Itsuki was eating.

It was just another day at the Nakano residence besides the five of them getting married to the same guy so he wouldn't have to be married to another bunch of girls.

Itsuki was eating so all was right in the world.

It was then that a horrifying thought entered Itsuki's mind.

"Hey!' Everyone else turned to her. "Who's going to tell dad?"

* * *

**AN: I tried use a randomizer for the order of the brides and wrote around that. Now stop asking for a harem route. Here it is. Here's my fucking harem fic for QQ. You can totally tell how seriously I'm treating this.**

**People may be surprised but my favorite Quint is Itsuki due to the memes. She's this cute incompetent fatty who's a total dummy and klutz even though she tries her best. My fave to win is still Yotsuba but she's not as fun (to make fun of) as Itsuki. The only memes you get from her are the despair ones and the 4D chessmaster ones which aren't that fun to play around. Good for story stuff as I believe she has the most depth among the quints but not as fun.**


	2. The End of the Beginning

**Disclaimer: I own neither the series nor the characters. **

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"Hah!"

Uesugi Fuutarou woke with a start, sitting up on the bed. The blanket that laid over him fell to the floor with how suddenly he got up.

Immediately, he knew he wasn't at his own home because there was no way his family could afford a bed or a blanket. There also was no way he'd have a room to himself.

Or could they?

Fuutarou refreshed his memory. The last thing he could remember was learning about his mother's side of the family before trying to escape from that shark-like woman. While it had all been a shock, that a woman who owned a simple café could be part of such a big family, Fuutarou had easily accepted the idea.

At first, he had been okay with getting some help. Anything for his sister after all. But then he learned about exactly what kind of "help" he'd be providing and so decided to bolt it.

He now understood why his mother wanted to cut ties with such people. While money was nice, the tutor would rather be fired then work for people who didn't care for their own family. The type that only reached out when they found a useful tool even after a person had died. It was like the Nakano's only much worse.

He only hoped Raiha was okay.

Also, there was something he was forgetting. Memories that were important to his future yet it felt like his subconscious had locked those away for his own sanity's sake. Odd.

Fuutarou took the time to look into his surroundings, already finding the place oddly familiar.

"It seems that the sleeping beauty has awoken or is it Cinderella now?"

The tutor turned to the sound of the sudden dry voice to see Nakano Maruo in a white lab coat. The man stood over his bed and, for some reason, Fuutarou sensed…blood lust(?!) radiating from behind the man's deadpan expression

Well, that was more or less the norm these days at least.

"Father! Why am I here?" The term got a barely noticeable twitch of the cheek from the doctor. If Fuutarou was in a better state of mind he'd have noticed that movement which was practically equal to the man jumping up and down like the time a young Yotsuba first discovered soda.

He would have also fainted if he realized that the man for once hadn't bothered to correct him.

The bag-eyed man took a seat next to Fuutarou. "Due to my standards as a professional, I'll need to ask if you know why you're here.

"I…" Fuutarou held his head, a sudden migraine building in his head. "I'm not sure."

"I see." The man wrote on his clipboard, completely lackluster. "Then can you tell me about the last thing you remember."

"I was having a talk with…not family, but someone from my mother's side."

"I've heard. The Kuneida's, right?"

Fuutarou blinked. "You knew?"

"Of course, I did. You filed it into your hospital profile when you checked in." The older Nakano actually sighed, sending a more disappointed look than usual "It seems you've gotten yourself caught in something troublesome, Uesugi-kun."

"It's not my fault." Fuutarou immediately shifted the blame. "If anything, I'd rather I never learned about them."

"Indeed. Nothing would come good from those women," Maruo nodded. "Nonetheless, effective today, you are dismissed as my daughters' tutors."

"What? Why?" Fuutarou's eyes widened as his head turned back to the doctor. Although if he was being honest, it wasn't that surprising. It felt like this happened every few weeks even though it should have been almost a year now.

"Why, he asks?" Maruo shook his head. His blank expression betrayed surprise, no, pure lack of belief that the person in front of him could somehow exist. "Do you really expect to continue to be paid after what you have done?"

Fuutarou paused, unsure of what the man meant. Could he think Fuutarou was rich now or that it would get in the ways of his studies? "If you're speaking about the Kuneida family, I never accepted their offer."

"Oh? But that's contrary from what I've heard." The expression on Nakano Maruo's face could only have been classified as a smile and yet there was no way Fuutarou could ever say something that cold and full of malice was one.

The doctor pulled out a phone from his pocket and held it in front of Fuutarou. It didn't look too impressive. In fact, the device looked like it was on its last life, as if it had been thrown to the ground numerous times.

Without another word, he pressed a button.

"_Hello, um, tou-san?"_ A familiar voice came from the phone which had Fuutarou's eyes widen in recognition.

"Itsuki!"

"Ichika-kun, actually."

Fuutarou wanted retort but the voice mail (?) continued.

"_So, uh, long story short, I've gotten engaged. I think. You know him. He's our tutor, Uesugi Fuutarou-kun. Just, ah, just wanted to let you know. I'll be handling the marriage and stuff so no need to worry. Yeah. Anyways, talk to you next time. I'll be Uesugi Ichika by then"_

There was a beep signaling the end of the mail and for Fuutarou, what felt like the end of his life.

He turned to the stony-faced expression of his apparently once employer. Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead and the back of his neck.

"This…is a joke, right?"

The man said nothing, instead just pressing the button on his phone again.

"_Hey Papa! Uesugi Nino here. Guess what? I'm getting married to Fuu-kun! Ah, you know, the tutor you hired. I guess you've become my cupid. Anyways, we're going to have a big ceremony and you're invited. I have to start planning the wedding!"_

Fuutarou grimaced, more sweat building on his forehead. Was this some sort of joke from both of them? Also, why was his head hurting so much?

There was another tap.

"_Good afternoon, otou-sama. I just wanted to let you to know I'm engaged to Fuutarou, our tutor. How doesn't really matter but just know I want this and I'm happy. The situation itself is a bit unusual but I'll survive. This is Uesugi Miku by the way._

At this point, Fuutarou's teeth were chattering. Was this that April Fool's thing he's heard of? But then the date on the phone had to be wrong. Were they all in on this?

"_Yahello, tou-chan! I…IgotmarriedtoUesugisansothankyouforeverything! Y-you don't have to worry about a thing! I-I got this! No worries! I'm doing fine and will be living as Uesugi Yotsuba. Anyways, bye!"_

A sharp pain flooded Fuutarou's mind. Hearing Yotsuba's voice was bringing back something. Yotsuba? That was right. It was Yotsuba who started it all. She had kissed him then the rest had followed suit. His memories were blurry, like looking at something underwater. His head drowned from questions he didn't know the answers to and, in fact, he wanted to pass out again from the nausea.

However, there was still one last voice mail.

"_Hello? Chinese take-out? Ah wait! Wrong number."_

One other last voice mail.

"_Otou-san. As, you may have heard from everyone, they all got married to Uesugi-kun. I did as well. I don't think we all fully thought things through but none of us regret this decision. He's helped us time and time again and this is our way to help him. Anyways, if you're going to disinherit us, at least, call in advance so we can adjust the wedding list. Uesugi Itsuki."_

When the phone finally went silent, the migraine had passed, his memories had sort of come back and only the cold truth remained. Fuutarou turned to his possibly now father-in-law, visible sweat actually pouring down his face. What exactly did one say in this sort of situation?

Thankfully, for him, the good doctor didn't bother waiting and spoke up first.

"Now that we've caught up, **son**." The single word sent a cold shiver down Fuutarou's spine that he just knew would never leave. "Why don't we have a polite discussion on what exactly your definition of "finding their dreams" is?"

Fuutarou swore he lost a fifth of his life that day.

If he knew what was to come, he'd have handcuffed himself to that bed and voluntarily given up the remaining four-fifths.

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"I'd like to officially begin the first ever Uesugi wives meeting."

_Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap._

"Ehem! After all…this is still embarrassing." Yotsuba blushed, hiding behind the folder in front of her. "Hey, why do I have to do this?"

"It's because you're the first wife," answered Nino. "If it wasn't for you, none of us would be in this situation.

"To think it was Yotsuba who struck first." Miku bit her thumb's nail. If only she had brought some bread.

"Now, now. We're all here in the end, aren't we?" Already, Ichika was acting as mediator. She didn't really mind as the whole situation has helped with her stress levels. "Yotsuba, why don't you begin with our first topic of discussion?"

"R-right." Yotsuba opened the folder in her hands and took out a piece of paper. She wasn't even sure what it was, just something Itsuki handed her before they began. Holding it in front of her, she read the first item out loud. "First meeting of agenda, when's the wedding date?"

"I'd like to have it at the very least after we graduate," raised Itsuki, chicken in one hand. "Maybe, even three to five years later?"

"I'll second it." Ichika agreed. "I want to continue my acting career. I don't really mind either way but I don't think I can afford to take a break at the moment."

"That's fine," said Nino. "We can save up to have a more extravagant wedding."

"Wait!" Miku raised her hand. "Are we all marrying at the same time?"

All the girls exchanged looks with one another. They hadn't even thought of that.

"A marriage should really be about a bride and a groom."

"That's true, but wouldn't we save more by having it joint?"

"But splitting the expenses would be troublesome."

"I thought those Kuneida people would foot the bill?"

"Only on their side, apparently."

"Okay". Yotsuba clapped her hands to get her sisters' attention. "All those in favor of having it joint?"

Ichika and Miku raised their hands.

"With my schedule, I don't want to have to worry about squeezing myself into five different weddings."

"I don't mind that it's all of us. It's only fair."

Yotsuba nodded, noting it down by drawing a circle in the right top corner and center of the 3x3 grid. It seemed she wouldn't win against the crosses today.

She then turned to the ones who didn't raise their hands. "I'm guessing both of you want it separate?"

"A wife's wedding day should only be about her."

"Five…reception…buffets…"

Seeing that they were deadlocked, Yotsuba tilted her head. If she was being honest, she wouldn't mind either way but that wouldn't solve anything. This first wife thing was hard.

She opened her textbook _Putting Those Bitches in Place: A First Wives Guide_. "Let's see. If you come up to a deadlock and have no answer…"

It didn't take Yotsuba long to find an example of her problem. Not because of her quick reading or her critical thinking but because it was the first thing written on the first page.

"Right." Yotsuba nodded her head, looked from sister to sister and then declared her thought-out verdict, her first action as first wife. It was now her time to shine as an actual heroine!

"Let's just leave it up to Uesugi-san!"

"That's right!"

"Yeah, let's do that."

"We should've asked him in the first place."

"I trust Fuu-kun to make the right decision."

Well, there's always next time Yotsuba.

"So that concludes our first agenda!" nodded the ribbon wearing quint even though she didn't conclude anything at all. "Let's go to the next one. Let's see the next one is…sharing Uesugi-san. Like who gets to go on dates and stuff. Um, okay, does anyone have any ideas?"

Surprisingly, they all did.

Ichika suggested a rotation system where everyone had their own turn and simply waited for the next person. The problem being if a person took waited for their turn too long leaving the others impatient.

Miku thought of just assigning a girl per day then leaving the weekend up to Fuutarou. While it did seem more organized, not everyone was free on the day they'd have.

Itsuki, unsurprisingly, wanted everyone to be equal. If one person wanted a date, then it can only happen when all of them were there. While it not just combined Ichika's suggestion's problem of having to wait plus losing one-on-one time, the idea of also being able to share one's meals with one another won Itsuki over.

Nino's was simply every woman for herself. While you wouldn't stop anyone, you wouldn't hold back either. It was both the fairest and yet most unfair suggestion yet. That Nino already spent most of her time with him due to their shared jobs was just the icing on the cake.

Yotsuba spoke up last.

"While these are all great suggestions, would Uesugi-san even follow these?"

All the girls turned to each other, and in a way only quintuplets could, all simultaneously titled their heads.

While there was a chance Fuutarou would choose something, there was an even greater chance that the usually insensitive and dense tutor would just do whatever he wanted from making his own schedule or just doing nothing.

And thus, again, it was left up to Fuutarou.

"Okay, finally-"

"Hold on! I'd like to call for a break."

All eyes turned to Itsuki, noticing the plate of cookies saved for after the meeting was already only crumbs.

Before anyone could complain, however, Itsuki held up her phone,

"Otou-san said Uesugi-kun's going here."

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Uesugi Fuutarou stood in front of death's door, one he had entered and exited numerous times.

When he had finally gotten out of the hospital, he had slunk back to his home only to be betrayed by the person he had trusted the most, his little sister. Apparently, now that he was married, she told him to go live with his wives. The only good thing was apparently his mother's family had sent him money, an allowance, so to speak.

Naturally, he refused to used a single yen of it. However, Fuutarou wasn't stupid enough to return it and instead gave it to his sister. Perhaps now, they could afford a better place, if he really was being kicked out.

And so, with a backpack full of clothes and his toothbrush and dread building in his stomach, he now stood in front of the place he had initially thought to be his shelter but instead turned out to be his execution ground.

Maybe, in the end, it was all just some sort of practical joke. Maybe, the sisters were stupid enough not to realize what being married to him meant? He had overestimated their intelligence a good amount of times to which they had proved him wrong.

"Well, here goes nothing."

He reached towards the door knob and pushed the door open.

On the divide knelt Yotsuba in casual clothes.

"Welcome back, Uesugi-san."

From her left, Ichika appeared in an apron, "Do you want dinner?"

"Dinner!" yelled Itsuki, already sitting down by the table.

From the right, Nino appeared holding a towel. "Do you want a bath?"

"Or perhaps." Yotsuba held a hand in front of her mouth, a sly look in her eyes. "You want me…"

"-ku." Finished Miku, plopping her head on Yotsuba's own and looking straight at Fuutarou, fluttering her eyelashes.

Fuutarou stared.

Miku stared back.

Fuutarou turned around and closed the door behind him. He rubbed his chin wondering if Takeda or Maeda would let him stay at their place. He didn't have too many other options left.

However, before he could take another step, five hands grabbed his shirt and pulled him back into the apartment.

"So, I'm sure you all have something to say and I do to.."

Standing up straight, Fuutarou looked over the girls that he had apparently gotten engaged to. They were all gathered around the table much like a regular tutoring section. All of them looked excited, maybe curious, but Fuutarou knew they all had to get this talk finished first, no matter how much pouting Itsuki did at not being able to eat yet.

The first thing he had to do was to clear up this whole mess.

"Everyone, I'd first like to thank all of you for helping me get out of that mess. I know that you all must have been hesitant to enter an agreement like this but I get it. Money's all that matters in the world and this was the best way to do it."

Miku nudged Ichika as she whispered in praise, "That's my husband."

"Mine too."

Fuutarou ignored them. "I've entered a discussion with your father and we both agreed that we'll hold off this marriage nonsense until you all graduate. That means we're going to ignore this development like Negi ignores Yotsuba's own until you all get out of highschool."

It was either that or the good doctor would kill him. The man made sure to express just how nothing would get is his way from killing the tutor if he dared knock up one of his daughters before they had become independent.

Something Fuutarou wholeheartedly agreed, if only to keep his life at that point in time. He would admit he wasn't ready to be a father of any sort at the moment.

There was a resounding chorus of Boos and When-can-we-eat's but Fuutarou remained steadfast as he held-up both hands.

"Thankfully, the Kuneida family will be in charge of the paperwork but I don't think they'll be paying for the wedding and neither will your father. You've all come a long way to be independent and I will make sure we can support ourselves." Fuutarou nodded before looking over his new wives. "Now, when I say your name, you tell me what you plan to do to in the future."

He raised a finger and pointed.

"Ichika."

"Actress!"

"Good. Itsuki."

"Dinner! And being a teacher but really, the foods definitely cold."

"Just a little longer. Miku."

"I've, um, made some bread?"

"We'll work on it. Nino!"

"You!"

"Try again."

"We could start a restaurant. Maybe, that family of yours could get us some start-up money and…"

"Good! Yotsuba!"

"I'll look over the kids!"

Fuutarou paused, his hand in mid-air. For some reason, he felt sweat down his back as he asked his next question. "…what kinds?"

"Our kids, silly!"

Fuutarou's whole body froze. His brain stopped and, just like that first day, he wondered if he had actually entered another nightmare. He really tried not to show how terrified he was but a small quiver still entered his voice as he spoke up once again.

"Just, how many kids are you expecting…"

"I'd like a big family so maybe three."

"I'm fine with two."

"It's fun having four sisters so I think I want the same."

"We can't feed that many mouths. We would need a large table. I'd like around three too."

"Why won't anyone feed me yet!?"

Fuutarou willed himself to remain calm. There was no way they were all serious. No, they were all just severely underestimating the harsh reality of pregnancy.

That's what he hoped, at least.

Well, there was still one last hope there...

His phone vibrated and Fuutarou took it out to read a message from an unknown number.

_Don't even think about using protection. The Kuneida's want that male heir, no matter how many daughters you have to go through._

How they would know Fuutarou didn't want to think about and yet he somehow knew no contraceptives would enter the apartment he stayed at.

A solidary tear may have rolled down his eye at that point but he'd never admit it.

There were only six months left till graduation. All he had to do was to make sure no one got knocked up by then at the minimum and everyone had a job to support a kid at the maximum.

He's spent even a longer amount of time around the sisters and nothing had happened. The only one he was sure to worry of was Nino anyways.

How hard could it be?

"We'll continue this talk later." He finally turned to Itsuki. "What's for dinner anyways?"

Her response was to grab his arm and judo flip him onto the table. Lying on his back, Fuutarou could see the drolling Itsuki with a can of string cheese in one hand while the kther grabbed his collar.

"You."

It was only then Fuutarou noticed the shining eyes on the other sisters, all holding various pieces of food and sauces...yet no plates.

He tried not to shriek as Itsuki ripped off his polo shirt in one impressive feat of hunger fueled power and the other sisters closed in, surrounding his body on the table.

Instead, Uesugi Fuutarou could only pray silently as his true deathbed drew near.

_'Mother in heaven, even if this is all your fault, please watch over me."_

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**AN: Talking from no experience, most harems are just delegations between the wives. What more do you want? They all won so there's no war and since they're all sisters it's not like they're not close with one another.**


End file.
